We, as parents, often do some mistakes while dealing with our kids because we have new things everyday to be worried about like curfews, dating, boy/girl friends, sex, new drivers, etc.
This article will help you discover the top 5 mistakes we do and how to develop our parenting skills.
1. Expecting the Worst
Many parents raise their teenagers believing that they are an ordeal, so they actually expect seeing their lovable children transforming into unpredictable monsters.
However, these monsters are made by us especially by seeing them ‘good’ if they’re not doing ‘bad’ things, such as doing drugs, hanging around with the wrong crowd, or having sex, and this is a big mistake.
Then after years they do these behaviours which we fear most.
Solution: As parents, you have to focus on the interests and hobbies of your teen and do it with him so you can reconnect with each others.
2. Reading Too Many Parenting Books
Some parents go to the books and internet to find ways to deal with their kids rather than trusting their instincts and just listening to their heart.
Don’t think that it is too smart of you to follow every single advice you read in books, as sometimes you just need to follow your heart.
Additionally, if the recommendations don’t fit with the parent’s personal style, parents would be more anxious and lose confidence in themselves and their own children as well.
Solution: Use books just to get perspective on confusing behavior, but depend on yourself and follow your heart when dealing with your kids.
3. Pushing too hard
We all have the same problem here. We don’t frequently like our teenager’s new haircut, choice of clothes, best friends and many other decisions, so we get upset and push on them too hard.
But why we do that? Just because we’re not looking at the big picture.
Solutions: If these decisions are not putting your children at real risk, then let’s give them a chance to make some decisions and learn from the consequences of their own choices.
Surely, you’ll still be there for guidance and comfort.
4. Ignoring the Real Problems
We talked before about giving your teenager some space and chance to decide. However, if you suspect that he is using alcohol or drugs, you have to take action before things become worse. Don’t look the other way and think that it’s “just” a glass of alcohol or marijuana. This may be just the beginning.
Some parents let their teen drink because they drank when they were young. Actually, this is not a good excuse as these actions may develop to a serious problem.
Solution: Always look for any strange behavior by your child.
Additionally, you can know if your teen is taking drugs if you find cough medicine packaging, unfamiliar pills, pipes, rolling papers, or matches between his stuffs.
5. Too Much, or Too Little, Discipline
There are two kinds of parents: those who crack down every time their child steps out of line, and the others who avoid any conflict with their teens because they are afraid that their kids may push them away.
Being one of these two kinds is totally wrong, you just have to find certain balance between obedience and freedom while you deal with your teenager.
Remember that putting too much emphasis on obedience is not good, as kids who are raised in such rigid environments where others take all the decisions, never get the chance to develop any problem-solving or leadership skills.
On the other hand, you can’t just allow everything, as your teens and tweens need some clear structure and rules to live in the outside world.
Make sure to spend as much time as possible with your child throughout the tween and teen years whether or not they showed that they like it. Such communication is capable of providing them a solid ground to depend on and boost their self confidence.